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So…about the Oleg thing?

I appreciate the compliments, but there are a few reasons why that is SO not an option for me, at least not right now.

The main one is that I have a ridiculously low self-esteem when it comes to my body.  I realize that it’s not necessary to take nudes, but I don’t even like looking at photos of myself when fully clothed.  I’m definitely not where I want to be, and I’m not going to get there any time soon (trazodone, stress, and schooooool are all contributing to that).

The other reasons are way lower on the list, but they’re no less important to me.

It doesn’t matter how many compliments I get, or how many times I do affirmations or whatever – I’m mentally anorexic without the follow-through (i.e. I would never be able to starve myself on purpose, and I’m also too lazy to work out all the time).  I can take the compliments graciously, even giddily – and there is no shortage of guys who think I’m attractive, beautiful, hot, or whatever.  It just doesn’t sink in.

So yeah.  Good luck convincing me.  I’ve been this way since I was in middle school and grew boobs.

Also, do I really seem like a dude in writing, to all of you people who’ve never met me or seen me before?  Because I’m not sure if that speaks to my ability to write ambiguously (you read what you want to read), or if I’m just, uh, manly.

12 comments to So…about the Oleg thing?