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An Old Farmer’s Advice

I got this in an email forward from my grandmother last night – I thought it was cute, and wanted to share it with you all.



-Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

-Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

-Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

-A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

-Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.

-Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.

-Forgive your enemies.  It messes up their heads.

-Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

-It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

-You cannot unsay a cruel word.

-Every path has a few puddles.

-When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

-The best sermons are lived, not preached.

-Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen, anyway.

-Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

-Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

-Live a good, honorably life.  Then, when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

-Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

-Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

-Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

-The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

-Always drink upstream from the herd.

-Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

-Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

-If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

-Live simply.  Love generously.  Care deeply.  Speak kindly.  Leave the rest to Heaven.

-Don’t pick a fight with an old person.  If they’re too old to fight, they’ll just kill you.


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