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Bloodwork update.

The bloodwork my GP did was completely different than the bloodwork my OB-GYN did.

I’m going to see my gyno on Thursday morning, and I’m taking the new work with me so that he can explain WTF is going on.

My thyroid levels are two different things on the tests, so that’s no help.

My triglycerides went from a totally respectable 107 to a ridiculously high 215.  WTF WTF WTF?!?

Everything else looks okay, as far as I can tell, but there are some indications that my liver might be rebelling from all of the medication.

And also, I still feel like being on birth control isn’t helping me all that much.  Except that I totally skipped my period this month, which is awesome.  Heh.

I’m signing up for a local gym TOMORROW (like, paying for a year and signing up for actual aerobic exercises), and I already have a workout buddy (whom I’ve never met, but she’s a recovering mean girl, and I’m a pretty snarky person, so I think we’ll get along famously), so I can go to my gyno the morning after cardio and be like, “HELP ME CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TRYING TO HELP MYSELF MY GOD MAN PLEEEEEEASE”

Because I am a graceful creature.  With a 40-inch waist.  Possibly a 42-inch waist.  I can wear my 6’6″ husband’s pants, is what I’m saying.

When I got married, I had a 31-inch waist.  Probably a 33-inch waist when I started on birth control.  And it’s all been spectacularly downhill from there.  Stress, hormones, possible thyroid and/or pituitary issue, and a rebelling liver?  Yeah, all of those could be possible.  I have symptoms of fibromyalgia, to be sure.  I also have symptoms of hypothyroidism of the type that’s the result of your pituitary gland NOT picking up the slack.  Which is weird.  I don’t understand it.  Which is why I’m talking to my doctor about it.

I might actually weigh 220 pounds right now.  That’s 60 pounds above my “ideal” weight, given my bone structure.  I mean, holy shit.  That’s scary.

Anyway, I’m fat and unhealthy, I can’t even wear my wedding rings any more, and I don’t want to be the kind of person I usually make fun of.

Yes, I said it.

I have ragged on SO many people for getting married and then getting fat.  Circumstances being what they are, I would be pissed if someone made fun of me, but I’ve probably made comments along the lines of, “how hard is it to eat healthy?  I mean, especially when you don’t have any other bills?”  Yeah.  Go ahead and kick me in the ass.  I’ll post video from my first aerobics class so that you can see me kicking my OWN ass.  Would you like that?

I’m sure someone out there would like to see it.  I’ll probably do a before/after.  If I remember.  Or if I’m alive afterward.  My fingernails are blue and purple, for fuck’s sake.  I doubt my heart’s getting much more blood.

I have two pairs of size 18 pants of the stretchy variety, which means they showcase my lower belly fat marvelously.  I have also invested in quite a few large men’s tee shirts, and am now dressing like the trailer trash I am descended from.  I have arrived.  I am “home.”

Well, “home” can kiss my ass, because I’m tired of not being able to shave behind my knees without executing a move that would make any circus-performing contortionist proud, if not slightly disgusted.

So, anyway.  I’m joining a gym tomorrow, the last term of my college career is looming, and my goal is to be back to my wedding weight (it was 180-ish, I’m pretty sure) by graduation.  Then, by the following fall, I hope to be back to a comfortable 14, or a 12.  A 12 would be nice.

And thus begins the journey of someone with an eating disorder and a seriously warped body image, on the road to trying to be healthy enough for her doctors to take her seriously when she says, “holy shit look at my bloodwork!!  what the FUCK is THAT?”

13 comments to Bloodwork update.

  • Let the snarking begin!!! I’ll meet you in the back row…I’ll be the one without the Jane Fonda workout gear!

  • Wai

    Birth control pills make you gain weight. I have a friend who on on them and she ballooned in the time that she was going out with this guy who didn’t like using condoms. So anyway, after she dumped him, she took herself off the pill and her new boyfriend doesn’t mind using condoms and she’s lost over 50 lbs in the span of 6 months.

    • Low-estrogen pills (the type I’m on) have weight gain as a rare side-effect. Most BC pills have it as an “uncommon” side-effect. Being on the pill will not, as a general rule, cause you to blow up like a balloon full of jelly beans.

      Given my bloodwork, I’m more inclined to believe that there’s some miscommunication between my pituitary gland and my thyroid, and my birth control is fucking with the protein balance. I just have to talk to the doc and see.

      Whether she lost weight while exercizing…well, that’s not entirely my goal. I’d like to be fit. I’ve been in great shap with a healthy layer of fat over my body. That’s all I want. To FEEL better.

  • Wai

    Oh, by the way, no amount of running, jogging or aerobic exercise was able to help her lose the weight she gained while on the pill.

  • Speaking as a recovering stress-eater and Fatty Fat Faterson …

    DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! *shakes pompoms furiously and showers confetti everywhere* YOU CAN DO IT!

    *ahem* Thatisall …

  • I am definitely rooting for you, Squeaky! I know you have the determination to do this, and I know you will be a success.

    Good luck, and DON’T break a leg! ;)

  • Breda

    I’m pulling for ya, Squeaks.

  • srone

    I have not commented in a while, sorry. I thought I would visit your site after a long hiatus.

    I saw your dilemma and from my experience, If I were you I would have your doc do an HbA1c and a Beta peptide test, if he/she has not already. It sounds like you possibly have Polycystic-Ovary Disease and/or Metabolic Syndrome. The symptoms that you mention hare related to both, esp. Metabolic Syndrome. You probably need to see an Endocrinologist rather than a GP. Your Birth control pills could be contributing to this as well. You could also be hypothyroid. Only an Endo can properly determine the causes.

    What gives me this possible insight? I have had Type 1 DM since 1969 when I was 10. I have paid close attention to the various types of DM ever since. Especially as I have gotten older and my friends have developed Type 2 DM with hyperlipidemia.

    Why am I concerned? Well I went to Bishop Byrne H.S. and most of my friends went to Christian Brothers. I saw you mentioned in Breda’s blog a few years ago and I checked out you blog. I have lived in Oxford for the last 30+ years, but I still use an endo in the Memphis area. Good Luck. I will try to check your blog more often.

  • Hi, I’m Dixie, and I’m a recovering fat person.

    Trust me, you can do it. Heck, I thought I’d always be REALLY fat, but now I’m down to KINDA fat.