1. I consider myself an excellent judge of character. It took a lot of mistakes to get me to this point.
2. I do not like to make assumptions about people, thus I am still inclined to get into uncomfortable situations by ignoring my gut.
3. Twitter has ruined my have-a-crush-on-celebrity phase, as well as my excitement over speaking to anyone who’s well-known in any circle.
Keeping those things in mind, my attitude on blogging, as a community, has changed significantly in the past couple of years.
I am no longer impressed by who you know.
I am no longer interested in the blogroll as a means of name-dropping.
I am especially uninterested in what many of you may think of me.
My muse has jumped the shark, and while I’d normally be lamenting that fact, lately I’m not especially upset by it.
I spend a lot of time rolling my eyes at the writings of those people who, just a few short years ago, inspired me and made me think critically about so much.
(This is not necessarily a reflection on the writers – it’s more likely having to do with the fact that the subjects are ones I try to avoid under normal circumstances; I no longer get jazzed up about being angry about something, because I’m still not in the clear as far as my blood pressure is concerned. My health is a little closer to me right now than anything in the gun rights communities, and I’ve actually had to force myself to critically think about my health in a frank and honest way, because I’m really annoyed with some of the changes that have been happening. My health will benefit from me not being stressed out, but I’m stressed out about my health. Fun stuff.)
To get back on track, I’m basically not interested in fostering any sort of relationship with anyone right now which does not have any benefit to my mental and emotional state.
In addition, while I’m not normally one to do this sort of thing, I’m not above choosing sides in certain debates of character. If you show yourself to be an extraordinarily poor judge of character (this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to like me or support me…I follow blogs by people I don’t get along with at all in person), I’m less likely to want to have anything to do with you, no matter how well-known or well-liked you are by others.
I expect others to do this, as well.
If you don’t, I see that as a character flaw.
Two days ago (April 18) was the third anniversary of me starting this blog.
I am now a very different person from the angry, snarky, self-righteous young woman I was then, just as I was a very different young woman then than I was in 2002, when I started my Livejournal.
Every time I try to decide whether to make this web page inactive, I think that there might be something that happens that I might want to talk about, and I like having a forum to write my thoughts where people can comment on them. And let’s face it…Facebook is never going to be able to fill that capacity for a lot of people. Twitter has become a place to embarrass myself and my husband with tales of his gastric musicality, and 140 characters isn’t good for much more than that, in my book.
And so, this blog will remain, for now. It’s starting to take on the same sentimental significance as my collection of size-12 pants, though; they’re around just in case I ever shrink to that size again. This blog is around in case I ever feel prolifically opinionated again.
I can’t tell you which one I think is more likely to happen, honestly.