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Tonight’s show – and other stuff!

Tonight on B, B & Guns, Breda will be interviewing Ambulance Driver.  It’s our first Blogger Spotlight, and we’re both very excited about it, so please tune in!

I will unfortunately not be participating in tonight’s show, because my voice has decided to take a half-assed vacation, and I can no more interview someone than I can run a mile.  Which is to say that it’s not really gonna happen.

I’m very disappointed that I will not be able to participate, but I trust that it’s still going to be a great show, and I hope you will all tune in!

_____

To distract you from that bad news, let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who liked iced tea.  In fact, she liked it so much that she usually had a glass near her, even while in bed.

One night, she left her glass next to her bed, as usual.  The next morning, she was sick, so she stayed in bed until her husband came home for lunch.

He brought pizza, so of course she got up to have some.  She asked her husband to please refill her tea glass, as well.

Some time later, after the husband had gone back to work, the woman decided to check her email while she was up and about; she continued sipping her tea while surfing on the intarwebs.

The last little bit of tea is not to be sipped, but to be chugged, so as to not be a disappointing little taste, but a refreshing ending to a great beverage.

As the woman glommed her tea, she noticed a bit of…texture.  Since she makes her tea in an automatic pitcher, the first thought (that it was tea dregs) quickly fell away and made room for morbid curiosity.  Her eyes crossed as she looked into the glass from which she was drinking, and saw the problem.

The texture that had entered her mouth?  Spider legs.

The body of the drowned arachnid was at her lips, and she quickly pulled the glass away and peered in to see what in the hell had crawled into her glass.

Upon further examination, she found it to be a rather small Brown Recluse (warning: image of spider at link), evident by the “violin” that was still visible on the corpse.

She vomited freely for quite some time, and vowed to never again keep an open container of liquid next to her bed.  EVER.

The end.

 

9 comments to Tonight’s show – and other stuff!

  • Ew! Spider in the beverage!
    Looking forward to the show tonight. AD is awesome.

  • eeewwwwww. i may never drink again. we can die of dehydration together.

  • Brandon

    I will now and forevermore carefully check my beverage containers for wayward fauna. Also, I will have the willies for the rest of the day. :-)

  • George

    As Ian Fleming’s character said, in one of his James Bond novels: “I don’t drink tea, it’s mud. It’s one of the reasons for the downfall of the British Empire.”
    Now (taste aside) you’ve given me yet another reason not to drink it.
    Thank you.

    ps-ewww

  • And it’s because of stuff like this that I always look before I do anything. :)

  • I would not be able to sleep knowing I had Brown Recluses in my room.

    I don’t mind spiders, but I’m a big pussy when it comes to obviously poisonous ones.

  • Thankfully it’s only flies around here. But they’re getting into my covered cup (one o’ these, only sans creepy-looking dude: http://www.flickr.com/photos/9895367@N05/2350172604/). Annoying as hell, and of course they sink so goodness only knows how much fly-steeped tea you’ve drunk by the time you get to it.

    I was eating ice earlier and realized that it was a little, ah, sturdier than it should have been. Then I spit out a drowned fly.

    Such is all too common down here.

  • eek

    when i lived on madison, i always kept my drinks either covered or closed, even for a couple of minutes, because of the roach problem. i hate lumps in my drinks.

  • Actually she SHOULD keep open drinks by her bed. The last one drowned a poisonous spider and saved her life. Just don’t drink from them…..