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That’s how I’m now referring to JB, and people find it funny, so I might as well make it official on this here blog.

He WAS my husBAND, so he is now my WASBAND.

It’ll be capitalized or not, depending on how I feel about him at the moment.

On Saturday night, I emailed Wasband my counter-terms for a settlement, and while he had demanded an answer from me in two days about the one he’d given me (*cough*on-our-anniversary*cough*), he’s conveniently not said a word.  Even if he received the paperwork via email on Monday, when he was at school, I should have received a courtesy email in return.  I guess that was too much to ask, but whatever.

He’s also neglected to pay the credit card he agreed to take control of, so my credit score has been affected.  I paid this month’s bill, passed the info on to him, and let him know I would like that payment as part of the medical reimbursement that he’s already offered me IN WRITING, on a legal document.

Still no response.

I emailed him yesterday, reminding him of the terms of the agreements we’d made on both October 24 and November 7 (both were HIS choice).  No response.

I texted him, breaking one of my own rules.

No response.

So here’s what I’m thinking:  either he’s trying to make me sweat it out until I get a job and get settled and he no longer has to do anything, he doesn’t know what to do and his mom’s told him to just not do anything, or he’s passed the info to his lawyer and is planning to file.

I know he’s gotten the messages, though, because he’s driven by here and dropped off some of my stuff in my mailbox on his way home from work.  DVDs and my mail that was still going to his house, basically.

So if he’s coming onto the property, still acknowledging the Division of Property clause in his first agreement (technically), but he won’t respond to my emails or texts…well, then he’s just being a prick, IMHO.

I now present to you, ladies and germs, a video in which Paramount Pictures and their animation subsidies have perfectly captured the wasband’s life, from his mother’s perspective.  Same issues with childbirth, same issues with an over-sized child, same over-protective flotsam and jetsam.  Even the ending is what I imagine they’re doing right now.

That would make me the fox in this video, BTW.

I’ll be damned if they get my scalp out of this, though.

3 comments to “Wasband”

  • Dang, Ma’am! I hang out a lot at Dr.Helen’s, and hear about guys getting screwed by gals in divorces, but it can definitely go the other way. Neal Boortz said that one of the reasons he quit practicing law was that would-be ex-spouses of both sexes were so nasty and vindictive that he couldn’t take it any more.

  • “WASBAND” Brilliant. This is why we love you Bonnie! I laughed out loud.

  • Awesome name! I can’t wait for that to appear in the urban dictionary (with attribution). Hang in there!