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Update – good news, mostly.

  • My divorce decree was signed by a judge on 1/13/11.  It will be “final” on Tuesday.  I AM DIVORCED, FINALLY.
  • With that signing came some money.  I used a good bit to move, and to “pay” the people who helped me move.  I was able to obtain a storage unit for the next two months (surely I will at least have a temp job by then), and the moving day was yesterday.
  • A person that I can only refer to as an angel in human form has been exceedingly helpful over the past week.  He (we’ll call him JP, and another friend of mine, JC) not only got my car into a shop that would look into the battery short, but then he paid the bill, which was over $200.  JC then was able to recruit yet another guy (CL) to help move on Saturday morning/early afternoon.  JP was ridiculously helpful with not only moving, but also entertaining my nephew, and communicating with yet MORE people to meet us at the storage unit for a short period of time so that we could at least get the appliances and whatnot into the unit first.  There’s no romantic interest – he just does this stuff, and by doing so, he’s given me a lot more faith in humanity (and some Christians), and more hope, in general.
  • I am now registered at two temporary agencies, and one of them told me I would be “very easy” to place, once an opening occurs.  This place also offers health insurance (inexpensively, with good coverage) once you work 40 hours for them.  Wish me luck that someone needs a data entry monkey for a week soon!  I’m still doing an actual job search, but the temp jobs should (SHOULD) help me at least keep the bills paid.
  • I feel like shit after yesterday, and will likely spend much of tomorrow resting, as well.  I just wanted to get online and let everyone know what had occurred, and let the congratulations pile on…heh.  My condition, due to stress, has gotten much worse over the past few weeks.  Hopefully the lessened stress of having my stuff HERE, with me, 5 minutes away, will help me feel better.
  • I now weigh 232 pounds.  That’s about 25lbs lost since Wasband left me.  Not all of it has been healthy, but it HAS helped my self-esteem a bit, and I’m making an effort toward a healthier lifestyle.  My recumbent bike is now here where I am staying, and I intend to use it as much as I reasonably can.  I can actually jokingly say that I’ve lost 375 pounds as of this past Thursday.  :-P

The only task that still holds me to Wasband is the credit card that I am to pay off.  I plan on paying as much of the balance as possible OMGRIGHTNOW, with my settlement money, and using the rest to be able to pay bills until I can find a job.

Moving day was stressful after we reached the storage unit, with two people in particular acting like children and being completely insensitive to the fact that there were items that I NEEDED to have toward the front of the unit (clothing and books, mostly).  They wanted to stack boxes on top of furniture, but there were plenty of odds’n'ends that could have easily been tossed to fill the unit to the ceiling in the back…those things were just being ignored in favor of boxes, which I unfortunately had to look inside to figure out where they needed to go.

With everyone focused on boxes instead of odds’n'ends, and me trying to figure out where the boxes went after what was approaching 12 hours of straight movement (my brain tends to shut down, my emotions dull, and it’s hard for me to think and be motivating at the same time, so that wasn’t helping), my stepmother decided she’d had enough and made a nasty comment about how she could be filling the unit with boxes, but since I had to look through every single one of them (not true – I was just lifting the lids), she was wasting her time and might as well be at home.  I told her she could leave, then.  If she didn’t want to be there, there was no point in keeping her there, you know?  She yelled, “Well, okay, I will, then!!”, got in her car, and went home.

Her brother was also helping, and his method of dealing with stress (which we were all feeling), was making jokes.  I don’t do jokes when I’m in the throes of my condition, and he picked up on my stress and lack of response to his joshing and started being a complete dick.  Finally, he was able to joke with my stepbrother and my friend Shane (oh my freaking god that guy almost helped TOO much) while they were tossing odds’n'ends (hellooooooo, this is why listening to me is a good idea) to the top of the unit in back, and we got it done.  He even got a free toaster, a pair of chairs, and four 17″ rims that he could either use or sell (AND I gave him plenty of gas money), so he should hold no grudge.

There was, however, a nasty exchange involving my loveseat.  He said he couldn’t move it, and I told him I’d moved it across my house several weeks ago, and he said, “Well, if you’re such a badass, why don’t you move it by yourself now, then!”   The big difference here is that he had a dolly and at least one able-bodied person to help him, while I moved the loveseat through my house (very small, with mis-matched doorways that it had to be jimmied through) by myself, with nothing but my will and body.  There was no need for his attitude.

If anyone has any doubt as to my patience and ability to control my anger, particularly with regard to my being a gun owner and carrier, that moment would have made up for LOTS of transgressions. I walked away and continued with what I had been doing.  I didn’t raise my voice, I just let him fume, and walked away.  He wasn’t a threat, he was just cranky and tired.  Even a few years ago, I would have started shouting at him, but I’ve become a big believer in picking my battles this past year, and that one wasn’t worth it.  The loveseat got moved, and life went on.

My stepmother, on the other hand, is completely ignoring me right now.  I’m okay with that.  She takes EVERYTHING personally, and she’s going to need some time to get over it.  I’ll buy her a card or get her a little “thank you” gift or something, and it’ll pass.

The point is that I’m moved out of Covington, officially, I have my stuff very close to me (and it’s easy to get to), and I’m officially divorced.

This is where I start my new life.

New job (hopefully very soon), new living situation (may be moving to Midtown to live with my middle sister and my nephew, depending on where I get hired…if I get hired in the Collierville area, I will be sharing an apartment with my eldest sister, as we’d initially planned), no strings, and possible health insurance on the way.

Y’all, I hate to use song lyrics to close out entries on a public blog, but this is very apropos, and feels like a good match to my situation at the moment:

I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

I break tradition, sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way


Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten.

 

6 comments to Update – good news, mostly.

  • motherslittlehelper

    you survived the big one. buy ms. dinky-brain an angel.

  • George

    Another hurdle! Congratulations. There will be more, but the wisdom and fortitude you continued to show will aid you. Continue to keep taking good care.
    gfa

  • Davidwhitewolf

    Congrats and good song choice as well; always liked the remix especially.

    Might I suggest, if you don’t mind closing the credit card, putting it in my company’s debt management program? We have setups with all the major creditors where your interest rate gets slashed (and thus your monthly minimum too) and you pay it off in 3-4 years; you can of course pay off earlier anytime you like. We are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit with an A rating from BBB and I would waive our usual $12-$19/month fee in your case.

  • [...] long-suffering Bonnie of Squeaky Wheel Seeks Grease has opened a new chapter in her life, and chose these lyrics to start it. You go girl! Comments [...]

  • Glad to hear things are finally looking up Bonnie!

    I would have started shouting at him, but I’ve become a big believer in picking my battles this past year, and that one wasn’t worth it.

    I used to be the same way but have also learned over the past couple of years to just let crap go and pick my battles. Guess that’s just part of growing up, eh?

  • Helluva thing to deal with, but sounds like you’re getting it done