First order of business:
I’m very, very sorry I downloaded “Amnesia: The Dark Descent” through a Humble Bundle set, but oh, how hilarious it is to watch reaction videos (I know, I’m only a year and a half late to the party – “Oh, shit! I have a bag of Milky Ways!” *disturbing screenshot and spoiler at link*), because while I HATE being scared, myself, I somehow enjoy watching other people be terrified to the point of tears, because I can yell at them, “IT’S JUST A GAME, YOU WUSS” from the safety of my computer while I play Solitaire and other exciting things that don’t involve Mr. Flappy Jaw running after you and slashing your face off with a sickle-hand. (Warning: The linked video may be disturbing to some viewers – it’s part of a playthrough of the game by an absolutely hilarious British guy who does “Let’s Play” videos of horror games for Penny Arcade, and hearing him have tantrums and make jokes about the ghosts’ intentions breaks up a lot of the tension…I’ve watched the entire game be played through, and now I have uninstalled it from my computer, because I will never, ever, ever, EVER play it, because I am a wuss.)
By the way, have I mentioned before how terrible I am at PC games, but how I can’t seem to stop buying them, on the off chance that I’ll find some magical game where I can work the keyboard and actually get through a scene without dying? Because I’M TERRIBLE AT PC GAMES. Unless they’re point-and-click, or very, very simple platforms (as in, “oh, hey, use the arrow keys, and if you have to jump, press the space bar!”). Otherwise…yeah, I’m fucked. It’s very sad. I feel like a failure as a geek, somehow.
The headache from hell has gone away, though I’m not sure how, because the meds I was given did exactly jack and shit for it, as far as I could tell (I was on a benzo as well as that horrible medication that made me rebound and vomit everywhere). It keeps threatening to re-appear, but then it decides to shove off for a while, which I greatly appreciate, especially with the rash of thunderstorms (which serve two purposes: they make whatever headache I have worse, and they terrify my babysitting charge, which makes for unpleasant days all by itself).
Of course, just after the headache left, I got my monthly gift from Mother Nature. Yaaaaaaay. BUT I had a REALLY good day on Friday, as far as how I felt. I mean, it was awesome. I almost felt normal, and so I got on my exercise bike (recumbent, because upright makes my ass fall asleep in seconds) for 30 minutes, burned some calories while watching reruns of “House,” and “traveled” nearly 6 miles. My heart rate didn’t go up very much, at all (it stayed around 112, which, if you remember from a few entries ago, was pretty standard for a while, but my HR is in the 90s for the most part, right now…it’s always been high, this is nothing new), I finished the workout with nary a sweaty pit, and even re-activated my FitDay account and started entering all this stuff into the system. I’m tellin’ ya, I was inspired.
I awoke on Saturday feeling like I’d taken a clock to the head, and my hands wouldn’t close all the way. I was just weak and out of it, and got all pissy and depressed, until I realized that I’d been chasing a toddler during thunderstorm time for 2.5 days after a month of having that awful headache and not being able to do much for fear of seizing. HURR DURR. Exercising probably wasn’t the smartest move, but I’m trying not to let it get me down.
In other news, which is related to the above, I’m going to try to get to my target weight by Halloween. It’s 40 pounds, which is a little severe, but a LOT of my weight is bloating…if I can control that, I can lose a good 8 pounds, right there. After that, it’s just a matter of finding a method of exercise that works for me without making me feel like hammered ass the next day.
Now, before anyone says that I’m being a wuss about being sore after a workout, I have to say, I LOVE the feeling of sore muscles the day after a good workout. It says, “PROGRESS.” It tells me my body’s building more muscle, which is a good thing. Seriously – I adore that feeling.
I didn’t work out very hard on Friday evening because I didn’t want to overdo it, and make my body do precisely what it did, anyway. It’s not the exercise soreness that bothers me – it’s the notion that my body will decide to have some weird reaction to the activity that I can’t really predict that bothers me. Like, “exercise, shower, feel awesome, go to bed, wake up with fever and weirdly specific fatigue.” That pretty much sucks total ass.
I’m cursing a lot, lately. Sorry about that. My vocabulary changes based on my mood, and when I’m in a hurry (usually because I don’t feel well enough to find alternate choices), the “fuck shit damn hell piss” just pours out onto the screen.
That’s all for now. I had more to say, but it’s irrelevant, really. It would be more like that ramble about the PC games up there than informative or even entertaining.
The only other noteworthy thing is that a fellow driver (who was, in fact, being just what I called her, and I’m normally very good at holding myself together while driving) heard me call her a “twatwaffle” and thought she’d intimidate me by following me to my bank and blocking my car in with her giant SUV. I went in, did my bank business, and she lost interest and had left by that point, but that marks the first time anyone’s ever heard me call them one of my more colorful insults in quite some time. So…Friday, June 1, 2012 was a momentous day in communication breakdown for me…heh.