Saturday night, as I briefly mentioned, I was out with some cast members at Huey’s for a bit. When it was suggested by someone that we go to Ernestine & Hazel’s, we left the bar and headed to our respective vehicles.
I should have used the restroom before I left Huey’s, but I was so afraid of people leaving without me (haha…oh, the irony) that I just…didn’t. I was in pain by the time I got to my car, so the cast member who came with me offered to let me use the restroom in his building, 2 blocks away.
I go west on Union, make a right onto Front, and am then instructed to make a right onto Monroe. There is a police officer in front of me – he paused at the red light, then turned right. There are definitely some instances where you do NOT want to drive the way a cop does, but in this instance, it was a freakin’ right turn. So I stopped, looked both ways, and slowly turned. I parked (it wasn’t that far from the light), stowed my purse, and prepared to get out of the car.
The cruiser that had been in front of me? Was now beside me, on the driver’s side. Window rolled down, cop with a VERY cranky look on his face, slouched down in his seat, giving me the evil eye.
The first thing that popped into my head was, “Why the hell did he circle the block to yell at me? Did he watch me parallel park and assume that I’m drunk?” Because, folks, I cannot parallel park. If it’s not a spot I can pull into while driving forward and then spend 3 minutes “true-ing up” in, I’ll leave it for someone else. I spend a lot of time walking downtown.
I got out of my car and smiled at him while closing my door, putting my keys in my pocket. Because I’m, well, ME, I yelled, “Hi!” at him and stood there, grinning, waiting for a response.
“Pay attention to the signs.”
“No right on red.”
He continued to glare at me while gesturing to the light in which we’d BOTH TURNED RIGHT ON RED, him first.
If there WAS a sign, apparently his toprack obliterated it from my view, because I didn’t see it.
Still grinning, I said, “Oh, I’m sorry. Thank you!” and paused to see if he wanted to say anything else to me. When it became clear that his only purpose was to try to shame me (for what reason, I’m not sure – Memphis cops are really hard to figure out, though it can usually be assumed that they’re always looking for a reason to ticket you), I simply told him to have a good night, thanked him again, and went into my friend’s building before he could ticket me for obstructing traffic or something by standing there.
If you’re going to stop someone for doing exactly what you just did, in the middle of the night when there’s no traffic, in regards to a sign which (I checked later) isn’t obvious unless you’re LOOKING for it (and I’m usually pretty anal about traffic signs, because I hate getting pulled over), then you deserve a swift quick in the ass, because you’re obviously just bored, cold, and looking to amuse yourself by scaring “civilians”.
Bite me, sir.