My sleep schedule has been off ever since I got really sick several months ago. I was able to keep a moderately normal schedule (um, I guess?) because of school and work, but my tutoring student has been flaking HARD these past few weeks, and with no classes, I was kind of like, WTF DO I DOOOOO. It’s not like I haven’t had things to pass the time…but then Forrest’s truck died, so I can’t go anywhere during the day (he’s using my car for work – we’re taking his truck in Monday to have it fixed, and hopefully I’ll be able to actually make it to my first class Wednesday night, because his work schedule has changed, and by the time he’d get home from work, I’d have been in class for nearly 3 hours), so I’m just sitting around. This makes it hard to fall asleep at night. Then I pass out around 8am or so, and sleep until the evening, rinse and repeat.
I’ve been passing time by getting into gaming and streaming, but that’s kind of made it worse, since most streams take place at night.
Anyway, I stayed up for 24 hours yesterday (and spent much of that time…you guessed it…streaming gameplay to stay awake), and then I passed out while playing with Sophie, and slept for a few hours. That nap was short enough to make me still feel like I need to go back to bed, but long enough to make my body be like, “Okay, it’s cool, I got this.” Um, no, body, you don’t.
I have to be at my dad’s tomorrow at 1pm for lunch. I have my alarm set for 9am. It’s now 2:30am. It’s a long drive, my sister’s in town, I want to go, and I’m trying not to get irritated so that I can relax and possibly sleep, soon.
Another issue keeping me from sleep, tonight? Apparently the notarized form for domestic partnership was missing some sort of 12-month co-ownership contract or something? There were no details listed on the letter that we got except that we have a week to get this vague form to the insurance company before my insurance is permanently discontinued.
WTF does that even mean? We don’t own a house, together – we live together, and have for nearly 2 years, demonstrably, through official mailings from government agencies to both myself and Forrest. We have bank statements with the same address. I filed my taxes from this address, last year. We showed all of this paperwork to the notary, and it was approved. The point of a domestic partnership agreement is to say, “We live together, we don’t plan to separate, and here are our assets, just in case.” It’s like the legal-lite non-marriage ceremony that still says, “We’re basically married.” I don’t get what’s so difficult about this.
So of course I had to have a major medical thing come up in the past month that needs attention. Which is freaking me out, because…um…I was planning to use my insurance to take care of it, and several other major things apart from the Lyme. The Lyme is now a separate animal that needs to be wrangled, but my other issues were in my grasp, and to think that some vague formality that wasn’t specified in the original application could be the only thing keeping me from getting these issues addressed has landed me solidly back into my funk.
Let me put it this way: instead of being able to pay $35 to get the major medical problem checked out, it will now be at least $400. I’m not exaggerating. Multiply that by four (because of the consultations from the same specialist for another issue I was planning to address), and even spread over 6 months, I can’t afford that.
[insert personal stuff here] And then it just snowballs from there, until I wish I had a pint of ice cream and a private firing range. Just me, the ice cream, my XD-9, and infinite ammo and targets.
Or, if it’s an outdoor range right now, some hot cocoa instead of ice cream.
I’m going to try to get some sleep. Hopefully things will work out. They tend to, even if imperfectly, and I’m trying to keep my chin (I’m down to one of those, at least) up and not get discouraged.
I will be on a farm, tomorrow, during the day, when it’s to be in the 40s, which is a good temperature for wandering the grounds with a(n adorable) dog and thinking. (I will, of course, be wearing ridiculous amounts of bug spray). I hope Forrest decides to come. If he doesn’t, I understand, but I feel like he needs to get out of the city for a bit, as well…even if it is a day with my family (har, har).
Ugh. Now I feel like I need to post something awesome to make up for this entry.