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Perfect menstrual metaphor. PERFECT.

This was originally a photo/screen-shot, but I’m going to type it out as a quote – attributed to someone called “robotsquid” on Tumblr, we have the following description of what a period is like for most women (yes, even those whose periods are relatively tame):

Seriously though your period is like coming home one day and finding that your spouse has constructed this entire new baby bedroom inside your house and you have to tell them “Sweetie we don’t have a baby” and then your spouse FLIPS THE FUCK OUT like “The FUCK do you mean we don’t have a baby I DID ALL THIS WORK” and then they spend the next week tearing the whole room apart and throwing it out onto the street and screaming at you and then finally when the room is completely gutted they calm down and say “It’s okay hon we’ll have a baby next month” and then they start rebuilding the room again AND THIS SHIT KEEPS GOING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU HIT LIKE 50 AND THEN YOUR SPOUSE LEAVES YOU BUT NOT BEFORE SETTING THE WHOLE HOUSE ON FIRE SO IT’S NEVER THE SAME AGAIN

 

Yeah, it was written just like that.  No punctuation or anything.  Just a glorious, run-on sentence of (justified) anger.

A male friend recently said to me, “You know what?  I’m fine with fixing the car, mowing the lawn, doing dishes, whatever…just as long as I don’t have to spend one out of every four days of my life bleeding.”  Smart man.

My response to the whole thing is thus:

Uteri are both the most amazing and most horrific, soul-sucking, satanic-assed organs ever. “We give life…but we TAKE AWAY YOURS FOR ONE QUARTER OF THE YEARS YOU’RE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO HAVE FUN. Suck it, bitches!”

 

And that, my friends, is why if this wasn’t an emergency surgery, it likely would have been an elective one in about 5 years, max.

5 comments to Perfect menstrual metaphor. PERFECT.