I was pretty damned nervous. I haven’t been in two years, I have a hole in one tooth, my molars feel all jagged…it’s just not a good situation in there, IMHO.
This was WEIRD. I had to hold a mirror in my mouth for those last four pictures. The first one, I just smiled (I was so tired. Ugh.), and the second one I had to hold those plastic things in my mouth, resisting the urge to sing the Mr. Ed theme song.
Those, in addition to the x-rays, prompted the tech to ask me if I had braces when I was a teenager. Nope. My teeth just didn’t screw up, thankfully. I also learned from the x-rays that there are no cavities, or anything resembling cavities, anywhere on my teeth. I was confused.
I learned that my jaw bones are still very much where they should be, except that my lower jaw is expanding in response to bruxism. The pressure that’s being caused by me grinding my teeth is causing the bone to grow more around my teeth, leaving to the thickness you see in the last photo – gums don’t normally stick out so far into your lower palate.
Before the exam even started, she handed me a toothbrush, toothpaste, and dental floss. I was like, “Oh, okay, thanks.”
I got to wear these green-tinted, cat-eye glasses to shield my eyes from the light, because it was so bright it was actually starting to make me dizzy. They’re for the kids that come in, but screw it. They worked. They were adorable.
Then she set about to scraping my teeth, which took so little time, I was thoroughly confused (I spent most of the visit slightly bewildered). She told me that the hole? Is actually just a sharp bit from grinding my teeth. Makes sense, since that’s apparently my favorite hobby.
Then she said the following, which made me scan the room nervously for weapons: “You know, there are people out there who would KILL for your teeth.”
I could only make a guttural noise with my throat, since my mouth was currently full of metal and hands.
Standard cleaning followed.
Then the dentist came and did his check, proclaimed my teeth to be awesome (seriously, I have never had a dentist tell me my teeth were great – these people must see a lot of awful mouths or something), and then asked me if I’d like a mouth guard, since my teeth were being worn away. I said sure, couldn’t hurt, as my current guard is getting old and starting to get a bit brittle (as those kinds of plastics are wont to do).
He also asked me if I wanted him to buff the corner of my front tooth that’s been chipped off for 8 years (tongue piercing…smart Bonnie was smart), and I declined, because I couldn’t care less about a small chip.
He picked a pink one. I didn’t argue.
This is actually a guard made for sports, and to be worn by people with braces. That made me laugh a lot. They sell them online in rugby shops. I guess I don’t have to worry about accidentally knocking my teeth out while sleep-walking (or sleep-drawing, as the case has been in the recent past).
I’m weird, but you knew that.
Yep. That was my morning.