I’ve been keeping Jennifer and Erin updated on my situation, because they specifically requested it, and because, frankly, it’s easier to write a personal message to someone right now than to write a blog post.

But write a blog post I must, because the shit?  Has hit the fan and covered absolutely everything.

I messaged Jennifer and Erin in a panic this morning because my bank account (which I’ve been keeping rabid track of the past few months because of the surgery…I’m usually casual about it, but haven’t overdrafted in nearly two years, which is a BIG DEAL to me) had a rather large amount ($350) in parentheses…you know, as I wrote to the left…which means a negative balance.

After my initial “WTF?!?”, I scoured the records, compared them to mine, and realized that while my May bills had cleared juuuust fine (the usual ones – storage unit, car insurance, etc.), and while most of my medical bills had cleared (I’m still sitting on that $370 lab bill and my $150 ER bill, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford those until my job – yes, job, I’ll get into that in a minute – started), there were two that went through late, and they went through simultaneously, and one of them was unwelcome/unknown (I didn’t have it on my withdrawal list, because I didn’t know it was going to be withdrawn).

The first was the $280 for the IgeneX test (the non-uber Lyme test, which is the only I could afford, and honestly, I couldn’t really afford it, but figured I’d be okay if nothing else big went wrong in the next month…bwahaha), and the second was an auto-draft from my Lyme doctor for the thyroid test they’re doing (because something is WRONG with my med doses…my sleep schedule is way off) which was nearly $300 (juuuuust noticed that one, actually – THANKS, GUYS!).

Anyway, here’s the message I sent to Jennifer and Erin, because y’all might as well just know everything that’s going on…this is what my blog has become, anyway (omg the spelling errors – in my defense, I’d been up for hours and was not in a good frame of mind):

Code blue.

Got another medical bill, and the IgeneX Lyme text [sic - test] overdrafted my bank account to the tune of $350 when it was all said and done (my bank gets…testy when you overdraft, even if you haven’t done it in years, and it’s been quite a while, for me). I’m supposed to have gone in for my 90-day “I’m not a drug-seeker” check-up at my GP for my regular prescriptions this past week (I was going to wait until this coming Tuesday), I have a follow-up appointment on the 31st with my Lyme doc, and then the next appointment with my surgeon on July 1st. I was hoping to be able to make it through the first two weeks of my job without issue, and when I did my bank balancing the other day, everything calculated fine, but then the IgeneX went through, and I don’t know if I mis-calculated or missed something entirely (anything’s possible when you’re on enough medication to kill a small child), but BAM, here I am with a bank balance of -$350.

My bills for May are paid, my job starts at the end of this month, but the medical bills are what pushed me over, and I won’t receive my first paycheck until well into June, at least a month from now. The job will literally be enough to pay my regular bills and medications, because I’m on so many, right now.

As for donation goals – apparently the sky’s the limit, because I don’t even know any more how much they’re going to keep charging me, nor what they’re going to charge for the next one, or if I can even afford to HAVE the next one, even though I’m on my second week in a row of heavy bleeding for the second month in a row, and the D&C was supposed to prevent that from happening*. I called about the other bills, and apparently the lab bills are because the surgery was considered “elective” – so the surgery itself was covered (because my insurance company recognizes the cause for it, and that there were complications), but the biopsies were considered superfluous (because zomg it was only scar tissue…apparently if it was cancer or a hernia, it would have been covered by insurance), and therefore able to be charged. My gynecologist charging me more for one of my visits was because they made a referral. Etc., etc., continue bureaucratic BS.

[I've omitted a section where I panic-named all the things that I have to pay for in the next 4 days, because it was hysterical-sounding.  Essentially, I have medications that need refilling, misc. expenses that don't amount to more than $10, but are still necessary for next week, and two doctors' appointments that I need to have soon in order to continue to receive some of my necessary meds for nerve issues, as well as to get my yearly pap smear, which they obviously can't do right now, but needs to happen in the next week or so as follow-up to the surgery, as well.] 

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Sorry to spew all of this. I’m seriously panicking. I needed this surgery, and I’m glad I got answers from it, but apparently it just wasn’t enough to be prudent and try to cover the bare minimum. I need help, and I need it ASAP.

I am so embarrassed. I never thought this would happen. My “superfluous” spending amounts to $70 – half the cost of my Galaxy Tab that my boyfriend and I went in on for my recovery so I could read and do stuff without worrying about sitting up in a desk chair or having my laptop on my surgery site, and ONE $10 game on Steam that someone on my gaming stream donated for me to buy.**

I’m trying to form a blog post that won’t sound so panicky***, but I haven’t slept in 28 hours (I think it’s my thyroid meds…another doc visit to adjust, naturally, because this is my pattern, lately, to be up for nearly/over 30 hours and then sleep for 15, which will make starting the new job REALLY interesting), so everything I write sounds like, “FEED ME, SEYMOUR” when I really just need to say, “help?”

So…help? I don’t know what else to do, and this falls under the umbrella of medical expenses. I’m desperate. Again. I’m tired of being desperate. I actually have to see a therapist due to unforeseen emotional complications of my surgeries, and I can’t even afford the gas in my car for those initial free sessions, so just imagine a string of expletives for the rest of this message, because I’m out of coherent things to say about this.

*I’m not supposed to be having periods for the two months after surgery.  I was supposed to bleed after my D&C, I did, it was weird, and it was over.  I bled for two weeks.  It was not pleasant.  Then I started bleeding last week, and this week it has continued, getting heavier and being filled with clots.  This is “danger zone” bleeding, and indicates that my surgery in July is no longer a choice – it’s happening, and it will likely be a full hysterectomy, because my uterus is reacting abnormally to everything and doing the opposite of what my surgeon said was supposed to happen.

**I don’t count food or toiletries as superfluous, but in the interest of full disclosure, I bought toothpaste, shampoo, menstrual products, toothbrushes, soap, and some pajama pants so that I wouldn’t have to wear the same pair every day while recovering.  I could go on, but the food portion is limited to soups and applesauce and some snacks for when my stomach decides to be a little bitch.  Yeah, I’m living high-hog over here.  Oh, and I got a hair cut and some cheap home-dye, again with money donated by someone who watches my gaming stream.

***Not sure if I’ve succeeded, due to the inclusion of this message.

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Okay, so now some of you are probably wondering, “Wait, JOB?  What’s this she’s talking about?”

5 years ago, in 2008, some of you may remember that I worked at CREP over the summer.  It was a typical temp summer job, paid like a typical temp summer job, and was desk work.  It was easy, low-stress, and pretty much every summer since I worked there, I’ve been contacting the guy I worked for (my dad also happens to work there, but he’s in a different department, in a sense, so nepotism doesn’t apply, nor would I feel comfortable accepting it) to see if they needed any editing or anything.

I was contacted about a project wherein a bunch of teachers (yeah, I’m not technically a teacher yet, but they know me, and they know my attention to detail) are going to be grading open-answer tests via rubric to see if teaching methods in a certain school system are working for a group of middle schoolers for their science classes.  This would last one month.  I was totally fine with it.

I was THEN contacted AGAIN with a, “Hey, would you be interested in a full-time temp job?  We have more than just the rubrics, and we’d like someone we know and trust.”  The job consists of the same stuff I did back in 2008, just for different projects.  Of course I said yes.  I’m going tomorrow to fill out the paperwork for the final HR stuff, and that’s that.  I start May 28th.  The first month, I’m doing the above rubric stuff.  Through September, I’m doing whatever editing, grading, reviewing, researching, etc., that they need.  They’re also allowing me to edit from home for the two weeks I’ll be out of commission after my July surgery.  Given how long it took me to recover from THIS surgery, I’m hoping the next one won’t be so bad, mainly because the scar tissue impeding the natural swelling cycle will be gone…as will most of my uterus, very likely.  Pain?  Yep.  But sitting on my ass on the computer is something I do, anyway, so I might as well get paid for it.

So again, this will help with my regular bills, but this next surgery is major.  Jennifer wrote about it, and I’ve already received several donations (and again, HOLY CRAP THANK YOU) which are almost enough to get my account out of the red, which is a huge step in the right direction.  Now I just need to be able to scrape by until the second week of June (when I will get my first paycheck).

THEN, in mid-June, comes the BIG PUSH (no pun intended, given the surgical area) for the surgery funding.  Anything between now and then will, obviously, be put into the fund.  But as I said – this is code blue.  I don’t know what to expect, and clearly even with insurance, I’m as well-off, surprise-wise, as someone without insurance.

So…again…any help is good help.  I will do what I can with my job to be as frugal and prudent about my expenditures as possible (my radiator is leaking and needs to be replaced, so that’s an expense I can’t skimp on), but I’m once again humbling myself to ask for help.  I was told to do so (ordered, really, and you don’t argue with Erin and Jen), and I hope you guys won’t see it as some sort of awful habit.

Upper left – notice the new text around the plush uterus.  I have a new goal, a new date, and a strong need.  Even if you can’t contribute, please spread the word.  Again, I’m at a loss for what else to say when it comes to stuff like this, so I’ll just shut up, now.